Pack your child’s lunch box right… as my mother-in-law would say!

 

• Peanuts/peanut butter – This tasty staple, which has been around for years, has essential fatty acids necessary for promoting normal brain function and development. It’s best to use a kind with minimal additives

• Hard-boiled egg – Provides much-needed protein for a child’s growing body and strengthens the immune system, which means fewer sick days

• Yogurt with honey – Rather than going for the yogurt loaded with sugar and food coloring, give your child a dose of plain yogurt, known to enhance the digestion of other foods, with a little honey, known to have antibiotic qualities.

• Soups with spices – Especially on those cold winter days, soup, can be warming, and wonderful spices such as rosemary, oregano, cumin and sage have antimicrobial properties defending against colds and flu.
  Hint: Tomatoes are a great source of vitamin C. Take tomato soup and add rosemary, oregano and sage for a quick and easy meal.

• Sweet potato chips – Sweet potatoes are a great source of vitamin A, calcium, iron and vitamin C. They are a great alternative to greasy potato chips, and their sweetness can often satisfy the desire for other sweets.

• Grapes – This fun finger food is best bought dark skinned, as they are the most nutrient dense. Grapes contain large amounts of disease-fighting bioflavonoids and are another way to remedy a sweet tooth.

• Hummus – Made with pureed chickpeas, hummus is a great dip for children. It has both calcium and magnesium for building strong bones as well as B6 and iron. And the added lemon juice has vitamin C and antiseptic qualities.

Mere paas Maa hai!

Jai ho!

 

With A.R Rahman winning the Oscar for Slumdog millionaire, the man opens a whole new avenue for showcasing India on the world map- the avenue of Music. No, no, I didn’t catch the 4-hour show on television, I barely have the time and Rhea rarely has the patience to sit still or allow me to sit still and enjoy a show that goes on for so long. But I couldn’t help but think of his mother’s role in Rahman’s victory because the son dedicated the award entirely to her saying; “Mere paas Maa hai. I have nothing but my mother and she is there with me. I thank her for making me come all this way with her blessings”. His mother allowed the musical genius to pursue his dream and encouraged the young boy to reach where he is today. She is one in a million and an inspiration for many of us.

 

Many a parents may be found pushing their kids to get good marks in 10^th standard so that he/she may secure admission in the much-desired ‘science-stream’. Again two years of pushing and pressurizing the child to make it to the top ‘engineering’ and ‘medical’ colleges gets him there too. The parents don’t force the child in this direction, but the peer and parental pressure makes the child believe that this is the only acceptable path to a ‘successful career’. After all this, comes the pressure of getting into IIM-A. Yes, all students are once made to consider going down this road, irrespective of which educational background they come from. The many many coaching institutes thrive and feed on the aspirants, and not the ones who get selected! Trivial events such as the conversation of parents with near and far relatives start affecting career choices; such as ‘what would your IAS waley Rishi Mama think when I tell him you are a disc jockey by profession?!’

 

There is definitely a need now for an education system and even a domestic and social system that recognizes all forms of talent and skill; and also allows the child to pursue the same. If you think your child can’t do math, but sings marvelously, go ahead and make him the next A.R Rahman instead of shoving him down the dungeon of math!

 

The bottom line is that the child should enjoy what he/she studies today and also what he does for a living tomorrow. This kind of learning needs to be nurtured in the early years itself-yes, as early as preschool.

 

I will certainly choose a preschool that considers nurturing the strengths of a child no matter what they are. I admit, I learnt my lessons from the Oscars! I am sure that if we allow our kids to pursue their dreams and interests instead of ours, one day they will shout the very dialogue again:

Mere paas Maa hai!

Slumdog Millionaires Of The Street

 

Often when there is too much hype surrounding a certain event, it turns out to be something mediocre. Maybe it is because it doesn’t meet our lofty expectations. Slumdog Millionaire was one such event; a movie about India as viewed through the parallax of the west. Director Danny Boyle throws reality on the faces of the Americans and they applaud. He throws the same reality on our faces and we refuse to cringe or budge. Why doesn’t the movie meet our expectations?

 

Is it because they showed us something we already knew, were used to and were trying hard to look away from? The great Indian dream is all about the transition from being ‘a back office hub to the world’s knowledge capital’. Sadly, the movie reminds me of all that is bleak and ugly. The bustle of traffic, which I shut my ears to by increasing my Ipod volume to max, the smell of grazing cows on crossroads that I ignore every morning and the sight of the poor street urchin begging. He is probably singing the same song (darshan do ghanshyam) but who is listening?

 

Have we shut our senses or is the existence of slum dwellings so commonplace that it goes unnoticed to the eye of the capitalist. Probably, the west would have enjoyed the movie much more than us because to us the story is the story of every Indian; nothing that resonates 10 Oscar nominations or golden globe awards. It is not that Slumdog is a bad movie. Danny Boyle’s efforts in creating a Cinderalla story for a street urchin are truly commendable. Sadly it is the Armani clad Indian who is flocking the plexes and not our happy little street urchin.

 

The so-called Slumdogs, young Jamal, Latika and Salim are portrayed to be innocent little children content in their slums. This is what I see everyday crossing my path on the street as I steer the Alto arrogantly. Orphan children chasing orphan kites; Dancing like young Jamal, hugging, puppy fighting or climbing on each other’s backs. They don’t want to be millionaires. They are the millionaires of the street. They roam about the street as if the world is their playground. They grow up much faster. Street education makes them wise sooner than any refined school, preschool or finishing school. They learn their lessons from the school of life. (That is how probably, Jamal knew that the bizarre host was leading him towards the wrong answer.)

 

The story of India’s Slumdog millions, (no billions) doesn’t always get a fairy tale ending. ‘It is written’ is the lesson one is supposed to draw from Slumdog. So, we each chase our own destiny. Some may land up in hot seats; some may find their soul mates at Victoria Terminus while some others may die a silent death. 

Baby talk-to-me

 

coaxin stubborn Rhea to open her mouth

If we talk to our kids, we can get a glimpse of the world they live in. Believe me, it is a pretty picture with laughter, tiny shoes, jungle gyms, wings, balloons, candy and colors. But that is not just it. Kids learn a lot from interactions. They learn a lot by asking questions and listening to what we adults have to say. Hence, talking to the kid when she is in the age group of 2-3 years is extremely important. Rhea has a world of her own, and I want to know what it looks like. Making conversation with ones kid is the first step in developing the communication abilities of your child. Here are a few tips that one could use:

 

Read a book out to them: Read out stories to your kids. Ask them questions while reading. One can even read the same book over and over again as the child will find something new in it every time you read it. For him/her all the words might not make sense, but the pictures, imagery, your mouthing and gesturing the story helps. Remember the movie, Baby’s day out wherein the baby had a favorite book, which he emulated page by page leading to an interesting mélange of adventures that knocked off the three bad guys?

Ask them how their day was: When Rhea returns from preschool I always ask her what she did that day over lunch. She talks her heart out and also finishes her food in the process. She is so involved in describing her day that she almost forgets to throw tantrums if I put beans or bitter gourd on her plate!

Play make believe games: Playing games with Rhea has given me some insight into what she cooks up in her vivid imagination. The other day we decided to play House, and I was quite surprised to find out that Sharukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor are also a part of her dreamt of House.

 

Good luck with your baby talks…Tell me how it was!

 

 

5 things that our next of kin will never see…

5 things that our next kin will never see…And we were lucky enough to cherish.

 

1. Programmes on DD1:

Remember the days of the Sunday morning Mahabharata and the daily Ramayana and the Saturday afternoon Vikrmaditya? Can we ever forget Aladdin, Tales of Arabian nights and Chanakya? Or my all time favorite Malgudi Days?

Too bad the generation that follows will not know the magic of Indian myth. (Too bad they shall only ogle at Achilles played by Brad Pitt in Troy.)

 

2. Champak, Chandamama and Tinkle/ Panchatantra and Jataka tales

I have always cherished the stories of the wise Brahmin and the foolish dog, and other such quirky titles. Suppandi’s idiosyncrasies and champak jokes make me laugh nostalgically. Our kids have graduated to Harry Potter and The chronicles of Narnia. (how do they relate to it, I wonder)

 

3. Birds, Bees And Butterflies

Our Sunday evening trips with parents would always be a park, or the zoo. We would find ourselves among the birds, bees and butterflies in a lush garden with trees with the sun setting in the horizon. Unfortunately our little ones go to multiplexes and malls. They get introduced to brands too soon in life and miss the beauty of nature.

 

4. Gilli danda, lakhoti and sattodiyun

These have become extinct now. But playing with sticks, balls and marbles has been conveniently replaced by Counter Strike and Xbox.

 

5. In-house DD1 songs

I had to mention this as a separate point. It kills me to know that our kids will never listen to this cute and quirky song that used to play on DD1, which taught the importance of unity to young children called ek chiddiya, anek chidiya.

 Even miley sur mera tumhara, is an amazing song about national integration which they would have never even heard of (lest youtube has it). Even the song “school chale hum” eternally rums in my ears with the concluding message of “sarva shiksha abhiyaan”.

 

Like-wise they wont hear the bell tolling in school or the sound of white chalk on a slate board. Neither will they write postcards and inland letters in the mobile phone generation. Nevertheless, they have a brave new world waiting or them to pocket the sky!

didi, yeh anek kya hota hai?

To pre school or not to pre school

Now that Rhea is in a pre school, I couldn’t help but reminisce that in our times we had the luxury of sitting idle at home. There were no pre schools in our times. But kids this age are way too much smarter than we were at our times. We don’t want their minds to run wild, do we?

 

We may not want them to become baby geniuses, but surely we want our kids to grow up in the right way.

 

Why preschool? (From here on known as p-school )

 

For me the primary reason is that I want Rhea to interact with people of her age. I want her to socialize and connect to the world and the community. I don’t want her enthusiasm to stagnate in the four walls of our home, lying either in front of the TV or on my mother’s lap.

 

But I wonder, if certain parents send their kids to p-school only because it is a compulsion, a necessity or simply because everyone else is doing it!

 

So I asked a few of my friends who are also young parents at a coffee table discussion yesterday and here is what they said:

Vishnu & Shravya

 

This young couple did not want to send their kids to preschool at all. “I’ll send my kid to preschool only if forced by circumstances. Say if Shravya is working, I think it will help the kid as well as us to put him in a pre school.”

 

“And what if Shravya is a stay at home mom?” I asked

 

“Then she shall take the kid out, stroll with him in the colony and watch over as he plays with kids of his age at the park.”

 

And what will you do, Vishnu” grumbled Shravya.

 

“I will watch over you as you watch over our baby” winked Vishnu.

Raghu & Reena

 

Raghu and Reena are my friends since college days. Raghu is an enthusiastic animal and I still can’t believe he is the father of two kids”

 

He says, “I send my kid so that he can do dhamaal! I mean he should be able to enjoy in his own world full of colors, greenery, other kids, sand etc. I am sure it is not feasible to run lose like that at home. Atleast Reena wont allow it. Preschool is an ideal place for his antics and to release his energy.”

 

Wow! We had an interesting evening yesterday. After the birth of children we barely have time for such leisurely chat. Also getting people at one place and at one time was another task I managed to pull off!

 

Three cheers for Miraa-the hostess! 

‘Bite’ the bullet

Beware! My Rhea bites. Yes, it’s hard to admit but I think my child might have a biting problem. I know that biting is not abnormal behavior but it surely is annoying!

 

I’ve gotta tell her “teeth are not for biting, dear”. Her preschool teacher complained yesterday that she bit one of her classmates but only because the other one was pushing and cornering her. Certainly that is not acceptable behavior but this brings me to a larger question…

 

Should she quietly endure and bite the bullet or should she just bite her instead?? My child is gonna ask me what she should do if someone knocks her down. And I wonder what I should say? I think I’ll bite my tongue.

 

“Yeah, you teach her a lesson not to mess with you!” Is that what I should say? I don’t wanna preach violence to a three year old while on the other hand I want her to stand up for herself. My Gandhian hubby would never allow philosophising ‘quid pro quo’ or ‘an eye for an eye’ or ‘tit for tat’. But you can’t really show your other cheek, can you or you shall receive another slap. That is Gen y!

 

Do the right thing, Rhea! I know you can make that decision one day. But for now-

 

“Teeth are not for biting, dear”.

Smoke on the water; fire in the sky

 

South Bombay is burning. Café Leopold where I first met my hubby is under siege with AK 47s, ammunition and bombs. My friends in Bombay told me that they could here the firing all of yesterday night.

 

Look at the way we live. Greeted by the morning newspaper with images of blood smeared on human bodies, frightened faces seeking comfort in knowing that they are not alone, kills me. It kills me 800 kms away, tucked safely in my bed with Rhea sleeping peacefully next to me.

 

It kills me to know that our children will grow in such a world. I guess, for Rhea; bombs and death will become words as commonly used as Nick and Pogo.

 

It kills me to see kids playing with guns innocuous to the grimness of death. It kills me that the firecrackers of Diwali resonate the same sound of real bombs and real fire spread by terrorists, but the kids are oblivious to it. 

 

It seems the target of the terrorists this time is the elite crowd of South Mumbai. I can picture yuppies and second generation millionaires sitting at Leopold making merry without a care in the world, suddenly hear a glass shatter. I can visualize a set of CEOs and MDs discussing collaborations over a glass of champagne in a view overlooking the sea at the Taj Hotel, startled by the sound of a gunshot.

 

This is not the kind of world I want Rhea to grow up in, but this is all we have. Soon, Bombay will resume its daily rush. I admire the resilience of Mumbaikars to bounce back as hard as they are hit. Tomorrow, the trains will start running, and the people will start running too.

From Brave Heart to Chicken Little

 

Rhea is three now. A lot has changed since all these years. I always admired Rhea’s bravado. She used to fearlessly venture into unknown territory like Shakuntala’s son, Emperor Bharat who put his hand inside the tiger’s mouth to count his teeth! She was a plucky, intrepid explorer of sorts. She would befriend the enemy, with her smile and be sitting on a strangers lap with no worries as to where is mommy.

 

But off late she has been introduced to fear. My other friends, who are married with kids, often tell me “You have to understand that your child’s early fearlessness stems from the fact that ignorance is bliss. What they don’t know can’t hurt them.”

 

I realized that as she is growing, so is her wisdom and imagination growing with her. When I warn her too often about certain things, she refrains from them. Off late she has started fearing them! The other day I took her to the movies to watch Roadside Romeo thinking that she would enjoy an animated flick about dogs and their romantic lives. But Rhea wailed in fear. I wonder if it was the loud sound, the darkness of the cinema hall or was it the evil Charlie Anna that was scaring her. I had no other option but to make my escape through the exit door and take her out in the sun and the fields.

 

After reading up a bit on fears among kids, I learnt that children below the age of seven often find it difficult to separate fiction and reality because of their overactive imaginations. Thus, movies may not be a good idea for Rhea at this age. I think I cannot get overly cautious with her. A little caution, a little freedom should do the trick. Again, if she fears water I cannot just through her into the tub and expect that this pernicious act will dissolve her fears. She will take her time to outgrow those fears, slowly.

 

I loved my Brave Heart Rhea and I love my Chicken Little Rhea too! I let her know that I am by her side, no matter what. Making fun of her fear, chiding or ridiculing her or belittling her feelings of fear is the last thing on my mind. A little assurance is probably all she needs, to put her hand in the tiger’s mouth again!

chicken little!

November 14, 2008.

It is the day of my daughter and all the children of India. It’s Children’s Day! Bal divas. A day when newspapers pay homage to chacha Nehru. A day for toffees and laughter. A day for the young and the young at heart.

 

In schools and pre schools, teachers will be trying to make this day special for their kids.  “The most special they can make is by giving the kids a holiday”; said my hubby while he was flipping through the red bricks ad on paper.

 

I want to make this day special for Rhea too! For children’s day I plan to gift her a pre school… What say you?